Different Types of Penises You Might Encounter
Updated: Apr 2
Penises come in all shapes and sizes - Identify your favorite
Penises are like superheroes or villains depending how you view them. So here we go, let’s have some fun and talk about the penis or the Mr. Member! They are like shape shifters in more ways than one. There is the obvious change they undergo when guys are turned on. They also go from kind of silly when you are not thinking sexy thoughts to being, well, the hottest thing in the world when you are.
With this in mind, here are a few different Mr. Members that you might encounter.
Mr. Grower Penis
At first look, you think meh! He is a little too small to make this work, nothing to see here BUT when the action gets going, he rises to the occasion in a big way ready for action. These are penises that are larger when hard compared to when they are flaccid. Most men are growers, when last studied 79 per cent of men have growers.
Mr. Shower Penis
Well what you see is pretty much what you get, so there will be no unknown surprises here (so you better really like what you see at first glans). These penises stay more or less the same size whether they are ready to go or flaccid so you won’t get any surprises. A recent survey indicates about 21 per cent of men are the proud owners of showers.
Mr. Enormous Penis
You might have a moment of "holy shit, how is that thing going to fit!?" A little panic is in order, but do not freak out! With some teamwork, special moves and an economy-size vat of lube, you will make it work. Members that are seven inches long or more when erect, qualify for the eggplant emoji, the Mr Big award! Oh, don’t worry it is basically impossible for a penis to be so big that it is physically incapable of fitting inside you. Just make sure you are extra lubricated and relaxed to ease into actual P-in-the-V or P-in-the-A action.
Mr. Tiny Penis
This member is the original Mr. Mini Me, he is small! He is either wildly aware of it or has absolutely no idea he is working with less than the average guy who is around 5 - 6 inches. If he knows and feels bad, he might overcompensate by making sure you have tons of orgasms round the clock. Not a bad deal. To actually be considered small, a penis has to be less than the average 5 inches, they are often called micropenis. They are pretty rare, but there is other factors to consider, length is one thing, but there is also girth, so there are not any established numbers floating around out for that average. If you want a bit of extra length, try a penis extension sleeve.
Mr. Curved Penis
This member is like a banana, and bananas are awesome. Penises that are shaped like them can seem specially made to hit your G-spot during virginal action or your P-spot during anal action. His manhood will seem pretty straight when it is just chilling but when erect his penis bends slightly to one side or the other. The curved penis can also curve upwards or downwards as well. Take this as an unexpected sexy advantage as you can try as many new positions as you can to get a better idea of what feels best for both of you.
Mr. Smooth Penis
Have you ever seen a dick so smooth, it could have been carved from marble? That's what we are talking about here, slick and smooth. A smooth penis can feel better and more natural in your mouth for oral sex. If you are a virgin or trying anal sex then entry should be smoother and more comfortable as well. If you do want more sensation as you feel under stimulated during penetrative sex with this type of penis just try adding a cock ring or textured penis sleeve.
Mr. Veiny Penis
These members have a very accentuated anatomy when they are hard; their veins are not only visible but also definitely noticeable physically during sex. Typically guys who work out more have more pronounced dick veins, but this is not always the case. His veins might just be closer to the skin and not necessarily bigger. The extra texture can feel really awesome for many vaginas and anuses so do not be put off by the looks of it.
Mr. Dark Penis
No, we are not talking race here. These are penises whose skin is darker than the skin on the rest of the man's body. It's just a matter of the level of pigmentation and melanin in the area. The colour of his cock has zero bearings on his form or function. So do not let this bother you at all.
Mr. Freckly Penis
Like the darker hued dicks, a freckled penis is a special type with distinctive freckles or birthmarks. Again, skin colouration has nothing to do with what he is actually working with it is purely aesthetic.
Mr. Hairy Penis
Without beating around the bush, whether he is lazy or did not expect to be getting laid or just prefers to go au naturel, this type of penis has a lot of pubes around its base and ball sack area. Pubic hair has a purpose as it holds and emits scents that attract you to your partner called pheromones. Men beware, a big wild pube bush can make your dick look small, button on a fur coat small so you can trim this a little to look bigge and also so it does not chafe. If giving oral, feel free to gently push his pubes down with one hand, because having a little curly pube strand stuck on your tongue is not exactly fun.
Mr. Bare Penis
Some men prefer to manscape, keeping either their entire genital area hairless or just really trimmed down. Enjoy the view as you get a clear look at everything—his entire shaft, his balls, his anus, his perineum, everything—so take your time to explore and experiment with what feels good for him, and by association, you. Bare cock also looks bigger! Rub on some lubricant, lube on smooth skin is even more slippery, which can feel amazing when he is hard.
Mr. Neapolitan Penis
Sometimes a guy's penis has different shades of colour on the same shaft and balls, so who cares? These are penises just have different levels of pigmentation and melanin in the area. The colour of his cock has zero bearings on his form or function. So do not let this bother you at all.
Mr. Uncircumcised Penis
Lots of guys are circumcised, so you might get a little shock when you encounter an uncut penis. They can be a little more sensitive. That can translate into hotter sex, so just ask him what he likes and enjoy! Uncircumcised men have to work a bit harder to keep it clean down there since bacteria can get trapped in the extra skin. As the penis goes from flaccid to erect, it helps to roll back the foreskin to stimulate him more. But the head area can also be super sensitive, so start gentle, and continuously ask him what feels good.
Mr. Circumcised Penis
Circumcised penises make up a large percent of penises. They like to show off, we mean their head is on display at all times, and there’s no need to pull back skin to access it, no unwrapping necessary. Foreskin does not make any difference in regard to your partner’s pleasure, but using lube could minimize chafing during a long or particularly snuggly sesh.
Mr. Perfect Penis
The second you see your perfect penis, you think you hear angels burst into song. It could be a curved neapolitan, or a straight grower. Either way, you might gasp in delight when you see it for the first time. Mr. Perfect is the member you like the most, so this is all down to personal preference, so no right or wrong here!
Mr. One That Got Away Penis
If you are lucky, Mr. Perfect Penis will be attached to you and be your forever Love. Otherwise, when you two part, his little man might leave a bigger hole in your heart than the rest of him. You'll always look back on this member fondly.
Mr. Silicone Penis
a.k.a. The Dildo, in many ways this penis might be the perfect penis. Always ready for action when you are and always up for anything. Gay, straight, viginal, anal, travel, naughty hens party or party prank, the silicone penis will be game for everything. Get some lubrication, relax and ease into some amazing P into V or P into A action now.
If you ever browsed our online sex shop you will see we have many dick-shaped, veiny dildos. Some are smooth and sleek, like a standard vibrator (without the vibrations), others are textured with bumps and grooves, and plenty can come curved, they also come in many colours. So find your perfect dildo now.
p.s. let us know if we have missed any!!