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An Introduction to BDSM Wax Play

Updated: Apr 27

How to Stay Safe with Wax Play



Wax play is another sexual practice that falls under BDSM. We have prepared a guide on how to play safe with those heated temperatures and tips how to enjoy the full sensual and sexual benefits of wax play.


Wax play is considered slightly advanced when it comes to BDSM and is a popular form of kink play which is accessible to many people. Firstly temperature play is when heated wax is introduced to skin as a way to entice excitement and sexual arousal. Sensual and erotic wax play still requires practice, communication and understanding. If done incorrectly, burning of the skin and discomfort can harm the dominant or submissive roleplay relationship — learning and practice is key!




1. Why wax play?


Kinksters use wax play as a form of kinky foreplay. It’s a teasing sensation that writhes and twists a submissive into shapes and positions that is alluring and downright sexy for the average S&M enthusiasts. Like many BDSM activities that connect the responses of pain and pleasure, wax play can be an arousing exploration full of endorphin releasing sensations. BDSM sex candles engage many senses all at once, this includes the romantic or atmospheric contribution of candles create a sensual environment, and the addition of the heat on the skin, creates a bearable edge of pain.





2. What type of candle or what type of wax should be used?


There are an assortment of candles that you can purchase, however they most important point here is they must be medium to low heat burning candles. Ingredients are the key component in understanding what type of candle you should introduce to skin. Scented and paraffin candles which you buy in normal retail stores burn at high temperatures at around 60 - 75 degrees Celsius or higher, also the wax stays hotter for longer on contact so these can cause burns and are not recommended. Special BDSM Sex Candles which we mentioned first have a medium burning temperature which is not more than 50 degrees Celsius — but most importantly, the wax also cools quickly on contact so it is less likely to cause irritation and burns.





3. Where should you test out your first drip?


We recommend to first drip test it on yourself rather than someone else first, because you shouldn’t do to others what you wouldn’t do to yourself. Furthermore, it helps create a pain threshold and helps the dominant understand the sensations that their partner will possibly feel. Remember that the further away from the skin you drip the wax, the safer it is as it will be cooler on contact. Stand over your submissive and drip the wax from a high level, rather than at a low level with a few dribbles at first. When you first test out your wax, and when you’re in a scene, never pour or splash the wax only allow it to drip. Also keep the wax away from the face or eyes.





4. What should you expect to feel during wax play?


Obviously, heat on certain parts of the body can cause arousal. There are quite a few different methods of application and each one has its own sensation—drips that roll down the body for instance. For the submissive, a burst of brief pain will occur and subside as it cools down. For the sub, they will feel an obvious hot sensation, but wax play can also be subtle and low key.




5. Techniques and how to begin


Before beginning with wax play, have the submissive lie down on a damp cloth to avoid the wax ruining bed your sheets and creating a mess. Make sure that your play area is safe and free of flammable materials and that there is nothing around you, or your partner, that can catch alight. A good tip is to massage the submissive with oil or lotion in order to create an easy removal, while also creating a sensual moment before any heat is introduced, this in itself if wonderfully hot foreplay.




Light the candle and drip a small amount of wax on to your own hand or wrist. If you feel comfortable with the temperature, drip a small amount on to the selected area of your partner’s body and test their reaction. Communicate throughout the process and allow for your bottom to address any concerns or discomfort. Begin to decrease the distance from the candle to the body to allow for the wax to cool on contact.


You could try layering the wax spots, rubbing the wax in, or even blindfolding your partner so they have to anticipate when the next drop will fall. If you’re exploring is as part of a bigger BDSM scene, try mixing it with different methods of impact or sensation, like a pinwheel or a strike from a paddle, you can also incorporate ropes, restraints or blindfolds for added anticipation and sensation.





6. Aftercare


Removal of the wax can be nice addition to the aftercare process. Hardening the wax with an ice cube after play helps with removal as well as offers some nice release to sensitive skin. The process of picking the wax of your or your partner’s skin can feel like a relieving or even a soothing activity for some. A flat, dull object like a credit card works well. Expect the skin to be warm to the touch with a pinkish / red hue. Soothe that delicate skin by massaging it with some sensitive oil or balm.


The removal of wax can be difficult, especially from hair. Use a comb, or a plastic card, to remove areas of wax on skin. A good way to avoid any sticky situations is to apply oil or lotion on to the skin to make removal easier. If you anticipate your play being messy, avoid rooms with carpeting. Wax is a nightmare to remove from carpet and rugs so opt for a wooden or tile floor space.


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